Kirk: The God of Math and Sex
by KinkyKirk
Summary: Mr. Math Teacher is an ordinary high school teacher perpetually making dad jokes to children who honestly couldn't give two shits; however, his monotonous life takes a turn to romance as he develops a relationship with his Lord and savior, Kirk Weiler.
1. chapter 1

Mr. Math Teacher, a fanatical follower of the Kirk cult, had first e-mailed his god about factoring binomials and trinomials as well as receiving E-Math packets exclusively before they were released to the public. Back and forth the constant flow of numbers and riddles filled the inboxes of the men as they developed an unbreakable bond through their love of numbers. Mr. Teacher understood the humility behind Kirk's emails regarding math and felt a deep connection to his savior of numbers. Months passed, questions of life and math passed and soon enough the two were as close as two math lovers could get, or at least that's what they believed. One particular day Mr. Teacher felt his phone buzz in his pocket and instantaneously his pulse quickened. "Kirk", he excitedly said aloud, "he must be responding to the question I had on quadratic equations"! What Teacher had received however, was what seemed to be Kirk Weilers massive throbbing member. The combination of his cock and balls mimicking the division sign that Mr. Teacher had been studying all these years. Perhaps the math teacher should have been paying more attention to dick than math all these years as he, too, hardened at the sight of his Lord's manhood. "20 cm" the email read, "surely you are smart and so convert to inches from metric to imperial". _Fuck_ , Teacher thought to himself, _almost 8 inches._


	2. chapter 2

Chapter 2

A big thank you to all for laughing their asses off on the first chapter. Another thank you to the person who inspired me to write this. They will remain anonymous but you know who you are. Quick side note is that I'll try to update this weekly but APs are coming up so uploads may not be consistent. And now to the good part...

~KinkyKirk

\--Mr. Teacher, after the previous day's escapades, continued to teach his class his lessons on probability. _But what's the probability that I get to see that massive cock again?_ The children noticed how visibly distracted their balding, square-faced teacher was; nonetheless, Mr. Math continued out his job. "Hey kids" Teacher interrupted the chatter among the children of the nonsensical yet entertaining fidget spinners. "Why don't you take out your wallet and pay attention". Not even a chuckle from the Asian in the class who laughs at practically everything. _Kirk would've liked that joke._ The day ended with not much else happening. After checking his email, Teacher was disappointed to find not one message from his diety.

The next day was eventful as Teacher received a letter in the mail. Not just any letter though, no, for this letter has been blessed by the hand of God, Kirk Weiler. Inside the envelope read a note:

"My dearest Mr. Math,

It is with pleasure that I send you a physical letter rather than an email because this envelope contains a very important and secretive message. My wife is away for the weekend. I want you. I want to see if that cock of yours is as big as that sexy bald spot of yours. I live in Arlington New York and it is imperative that you arrive tomorrow. Afterall, we have business to attend to. You'll notice I've mailed you $200 for travel fees. There is no need to pay me back, it is my wish to see you and let's just say that money is not an issue... I get it quite frequently and quite unorthodoxly. Anyhow, I'll see you when you come, my darling. And boy I just can't wait for you to _cum._ "

Mr. Teacher's heart raced at the idea of his Lordship beating him off whilst reading math equations to him. And with that Teacher got in his car and began driving.

Mr. Weiler opened the door with a warm smile and welcomed his lover in his house. "Come. I have something to show you" Kirk uttetered seductively to Teacher. Kirk Weiler led his guest to a room full of emath packets, TI-84 calculators, and his work space where he recorded his video math tutorials. Mr. Math responded in awe "My Lord, it's... beautiful"! The math teacher's heart raced and his cock stood erect at the sight of all the math material. _If I could fuck math itself I would and Kirk is the closest thing to it._ His breathed heavily and abruptly attacked Mr.Weiler's mouth with his own. Kirk was taken aback but eased into the kiss as he slid his tongue into Teacher's mouth. Soon they parted and a trail of saliva drifted between their lips and fell to the ground. "What a lovely parabala" Weiler concluded. _Oh fuck yes keep talking math to me Mr. Weiler_. Mr. Math Teacher concurred "A positive 'A' coefficient for the smiling parabala". Both men were blushing and out of breath but Kirk Weiler, God of Math and Sex, ordered Teacher to his knees and unzipped his trousers. His 8 inch erect penis was perpandicular to Teacher's face as Mr. Teacher took the length of his member into his mouth. _It's too big!_ _ITS YUGE! THIS YOOMAN'S COCK IS YOOMONGOUS_ "Yeah you fuckin like that don't you, you dirty little math whore". Teacher thought to himself Oh _fuck yes I do, Daddy Kirk, yes I do_ but all that managed to come out of his mouth when he spoke was muffled sounds of delight and his God shoved his manhood down Teacher's throat. Mr. Teacher worked his tongue and throat in a rythmic pattern as he thought about algebraic equations. Kirk Weiler neared his climax and began to shout! "GRAAGGHH FACTOR FACTOR FACTOR FACTOR FUUUCK FACTOOOOOR"!!! Kirk blew his load deep into the back of Teacher's mouth. After Mr. Teacher swallowed the massive salty heap of cum he spoke, "I love that sound even more than the sound of calculators dropping". --fin


End file.
